Thinking of Trading In Your ‘Gently Used’ Man?

I saw a quote recently that I think it was by Betty White. It went something like this: Listen to him chew. If you can stand to hear that for the rest of your life, then, by all means, go ahead and marry him.

If you hang around with someone long enough, you will usually discover at least one habit that irritates you. If your guy has a bunch of bad habits and you’re beginning to climb the walls, it’s likely that you might develop some resentment.

I often talk about how resentment kills love. But if his habits are just irritating, and you’re thinking of trading him in on a new model, just remember that everyone–yes, including you–have habits that can be irritating.

If you haven’t ever mentioned that what he’s doing is getting on your nerves, have you ever mentioned it to him? If so, did you talk to him about it in a loving way? If you’re not sure how to go about having that kind of discussion, you can access the Marriage Makeover program and learn several ways to have difficult discussions.

Watch this video that I made on this topic.

Has Your Love Gone Stale?

It happens in most relationship. At different times, you don’t feel like you are in love any longer. That’s natural. Relationships ebb and flow. Life ebbs and flows.

Sometimes you focus on what you don’t like about the other person, or that irritating habit that you used to think was adorable, and now it’s driving you up the walls.

If you want to get back to where you are both in love with each other again, this video might be exactly what you need:

Why Won’t He Work On The Relationship

Men are pretty lazy when it comes to the relationship. He is more than willing to work to capture you, but after that, he unconsciously hands the relationship over to you. “Here, honey, your take over.”

It’s about that stage that you start wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’ Well, laziness happened.

Watch this video and you’ll gain a better understanding of this dynamic, and hopefully, you’ll become more calm about what’s really going on.

What To Do When Your Feelings Get Hurt

needy-womenYesterday I heard two little kids fighting, one yelling at the other, “You hurt my feelings.” Little kids are still learning how to negotiate life. So it’s reasonable that they would blame someone else for how they feel. But for us adults, it’s important that we understand that we are completely in charge of how we respond to what others do and say to us.

So no one can hurt your feelings. No one can make you angry. No one can make you cry (unless they use physical force.) Each of us is responsible for how we react and respond to others. Part of that responsibility is how to communicate with your husband or boyfriend when they cross the line and treat you with a lack of love or respect.

Sometimes, if you don’t speak up, he doesn’t know that what he did or said upset you. So first, it’s important to communicate what’s going on. But if you blame or accuse, then communication won’t occur. Communication only happens when the person you’re speaking to understands what you’re saying. If they are defensive, they’re focused on protecting themselves, and coming up with something to say back. This is commonly referred to as a fight.

So how do you handle this kind of communication? First, let him know how what he said made you feel. Let him know you take responsibility for how you reacted, but that what he said didn’t feel good. It’s possible that he didn’t know you felt that way. Be sure you don’t blame or accuse, but ask him how this might be handled in the future. Together, come up with a loving, playful, or humorous way of letting him know he did or said something that didn’t feel good.

Real love can only happen when you both keep your hearts open to each other. Clear and loving communication will take you a long way toward making sure love grows, instead of drying up.

A Radically Different Approach To Arguing

happy_couple2There’s no such thing as a perfect match. That means, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.

There are bound to be times when you don’t agree.

And for some, there are bound to be the occasional argument.

What if there was a drastically different approach to getting along…an approach that has the power to infuse your relationship with a brand new kind of love and understanding.

If you’d like your relationship to become ‘smooth sailing,’ you’re in luck.

Let me share a new book that has just been released.

I know the authors personally, and they are the cutest couple. They have come up with an effective new way to approach the little day-to-day issues that often become big, relationship-threatening issues.

The title: How Two Have a Successful Relationship. (No, that’s not a typo)

Here are the bullet points from their Amazon page:

  • How to find mutual solutions to decision making and problem-solving
  • How to remain an individual within the relationship
  • How to break the vicious cycle of anger and recrimination
  • How to avoid the pitfalls that create separation and estrangement
  • How to keep that original loving connection to your partner

I especially like the last one.

You won’t believe how simple their suggestions are, and how easy to make a part of how you interact and communicate.

You both want your needs met, and this book will teach you how to make that happen.

You can order the print version or Kindle version at Amazon.com.

You owe it to yourself, you owe it to your partner, and if you have kids, you most certainly owe it to them.

P.S. You know I don’t make recommendations very often. In my opinion, this book, and what Phil and Maude teach, should be required reading for every couple.

P.P.S. What you will learn will help every one of your relationships, both professional and personal.

Get your copy today: How Two Have a Successful Relationship