Thinking of Trading In Your ‘Gently Used’ Man?

I saw a quote recently that I think it was by Betty White. It went something like this: Listen to him chew. If you can stand to hear that for the rest of your life, then, by all means, go ahead and marry him.

If you hang around with someone long enough, you will usually discover at least one habit that irritates you. If your guy has a bunch of bad habits and you’re beginning to climb the walls, it’s likely that you might develop some resentment.

I often talk about how resentment kills love. But if his habits are just irritating, and you’re thinking of trading him in on a new model, just remember that everyone–yes, including you–have habits that can be irritating.

If you haven’t ever mentioned that what he’s doing is getting on your nerves, have you ever mentioned it to him? If so, did you talk to him about it in a loving way? If you’re not sure how to go about having that kind of discussion, you can access the Marriage Makeover program and learn several ways to have difficult discussions.

Watch this video that I made on this topic.

Why Won’t He Work On The Relationship

Men are pretty lazy when it comes to the relationship. He is more than willing to work to capture you, but after that, he unconsciously hands the relationship over to you. “Here, honey, your take over.”

It’s about that stage that you start wondering, ‘What the heck happened?’ Well, laziness happened.

Watch this video and you’ll gain a better understanding of this dynamic, and hopefully, you’ll become more calm about what’s really going on.

Is It Uncool To Care?

Man sitting on sofa with PDAHave you noticed a trend going around that could easily be labeled: I Don’t Give-a-Shit About Anyone But Me. A good example is how people cross the street today. Do they purposefully walk as slow as they can? I feel like people have turned into human sloths.

I scurry because I don’t want to hold up the driver any longer than necessary. I certainly don’t cross the street staring at my iPhone, never once looking up. Maybe they’re so lost in the fascinating info on their phone that they simply don’t realize the car is there.

Along with not caring, they’ve become stupid. Do they not realize a car is a lethal weapon, able to, at the very least, break their legs if they only tap someone with their bumper? Before I step off the curb, I make eye contact with the driver, so I’m certain they know I’m there.

When someone holds the door open for me, I feel like a queen because it happens so seldom.

When it comes to relationships (all kinds, not just romantic) being considerate must be part of the mix or you’ll eventually be in trouble.


Because it shows you care. People need that, today more than ever. They need to know they matter.

Life is not just about going out, laughing with friends, getting drunk. It’s about being emotionally and spiritually available to experience those precious shared moments.

Doesn’t it feel great when someone ‘gets’ you? That creates a very special and unique bond.

At the beginning of a relationship, you pay attention to the other person. You look for ways to show them you care, and that you understand them.

Then, the newness wears off and, too often, it’s back to, “what’s in it for me?”

Listening, I mean really listening, to someone is an amazing gift of kindness and consideration. You can’t ‘get’ someone if you don’t pay attention to them.

When you look deep into each other’s souls, you feel seen. That deepens the bond you share. That can’t happen if half of your brain is waiting for the next text or Facebook update.

Do people today even know that it feels good to be kind and considerate? Maybe not. Maybe that’s at the core of this trend toward self-absorption.

I love it when I see an article or video about young people reaching out to help others or make the planet a better place. It gives me hope that we’re not doomed.

If you want to improve the quality of your relationships, I highly recommend ‘giving-a-shit’ a try. Go out of your way to be kind and considerate. Look for things that you can do to put a smile on someone’s face.

Go for a heart-to-heart connection and you’ll discover how good it feels. No iPhone can ever give you that.

Can You Deny It?

Your adult self knows there are no princes. But can you really deny that there isn’t just a little bit of that wish still left in your heart?

Whether you’re married, dating, or looking, it’s hard to let go of that girlhood dream of a prince carrying us off to his castle.

But that dream is interfering with your happiness. Watch this video to find out why:

You Should Always Choose the Best You

Young couple having fun in the kitchenI love to read. Actually, so much so, that I’ve wished there were two of me. One who read twenty-four hours a day, who would send the info over to the other me, that was out there doing life.

But alas, there’s only me. One way I get my reading in is to always have an audio book in my car. Today, I was listening to a very fun read, London Is the Best City In America, by Laura Dave. The protagonist, Emmie, said something really profound and I wanted to share it with you here.

She said (not an exact quote), “When choosing between two people, it’s not the people you need to choose between, it’s choosing which version of you you want to be.”

That makes total sense because each person we have a relationship with, whether it’s a romantic relationship, or a girlfriend, or anyone else, we show up a little bit different with each.

So choose who you most like and enjoy being, and you’ll be happy.

Every good novel offers lessons about life that can be taken into our hearts so we can become better people.

To great reading…