Do You Doubt That You Are Special?

Years ago I had a man in one of my workshops that needed private coaching. He was one of those types of people who try too hard. They try to be witty, charming, funny, and sociable, but they only make people uncomfortable. He was that kind of man.

My heart went out to him because I knew his awkwardness came from severe insecurity. He was having difficulty with one of the deeper meditations that I had led the group through. In this meditation I asked them to go to their Child-Self, along with their Inner Wise Being, and give that child whatever it needed, depending on what had caused them to feel like they were not lovable, or not enough in some way. But he was not able to follow my guidance, even though he hadn’t had any difficulty in earlier meditations.

Because it was such an essential step in the transformational potential available to the workshop attendees, I offered to do a private session with him. In my office, with just the two of us, I guided him into a meditative state. In questioning him, he admitted he couldn’t do this process because his  Child-Self wasn’t lovable, because he the adult man was not lovable.

I did my best to help him see that he was, but he was adamant and would not accept what I knew to be true. Finally, it had an inspiration.

22308124_blogI asked him to picture himself walking along a sidewalk. Then I asked him to see a baby laying on the sidewalk. I asked him what he wanted to do. He said, “I’m picking him up.” I asked him if that baby was lovable and he said, “Yes, of course.”

Then I asked him to look into the eyes of that baby, to really see him. Then I told him, “That lovable baby is you.” At that point he started sobbing because he could finally feel it and accept that it was true.

After that, he made amazing leaps forward and became a lovely man to be around.

If there is ever a time when you do not feel lovable, or you question your worthiness to be loved, remember this man. Watching him transform over the next few weeks was a beautiful miracle. You are a miracle as well. There is nothing…nothing getting in the way of you loving and being loved…other than you. Be the miracle you are.

Helping you discover the magic of Real Love,


Life Advice From the Easter Bunny

KaraBunnyWithout permission — but I hope he won’t mind because his website is FANTASTIC, and everyone should be following him — from Alan Davidson @

That’s me and my son. He wasn’t the bunny this year because he said the suit smells bad and is really hot. Don’t you love his shoes?

All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

  • Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
  • Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
  • There’s no such thing as too much candy.
  • All work and no play can make you a basket case.
  • A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
  • Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
  • Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
  • Some body parts should be floppy.
  • Keep your paws off of other people’s jelly beans.
  • Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
  • The grass is always greener in someone elses’ basket.
  • To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
  • The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Without permission — but I hope he won’t mind because his website is FANTASTIC, and everyone should be following him — from Alan Davidson @

Helping you discover the magic of Real Love,


Hey, Lady! Whatchu Lookin At?

FilteredCat2Your outlook on life (meaning your perspective, what you focus on, what you believe about why things happen, your willingness to take responsibility for what goes on in your life) colors everything, as a filter on a camera colors an image.

Now, this is really BIG: You choose the filters through which you see (and live) your life.

Yes, no matter where you look, you can find garbage. Garbage along the highway, garbage in your yard, garbage in situations, and even garbage about how you perceive people.

The problem with focusing the garbage is you miss seeing the beauty.

Beauty is always there, right next to the garbage, if you CHOOSE to look for it.

See that flower growing in a crack in the pavement, next to that pile of  garbage along the highway?

You’re sick in bed, but listen, there’s a bird singing somewhere outside.

Your dog died yesterday, but stop, close your eyes and feel the sunshine on your shoulders.

Inspire a returned smile.

Notice a hand that needs to be held.

We find what we’re looking for. Why not look for joy? No matter our circumstances, joy is still an option. And what’s crazy is it even impacts our chemistry. So in a way, we get to choose our chemistry, which impacts our outlook. Look Mom, it’s a circle. Cool, huh?

Helping you discover the magic of Real Love,


Dance Like EVERYONE Is Watching!!!

You are a woman, therefore, you have a responsibility to be a true maker of magic. Your woman’s heart, filled with such capacity to love, is a much-needed guiding light…showing the way for each and every person you meet, to rise up and become their very best.

So rather than the oft-quoted phrase, “Dance like no one is watching,” I say, “Dance like EVERYONE is watching” and you will create an infectious response in everyone who sees you because they will be inspired to dance with you.

Watch these two videos to see what I mean…and I DARE you to sit still.

Be a maker of magic, there is no more noble quest,


This Will Turn Your Light Down

DogPooOnSidewalk1Did you know you have light that emanates from your spirit and soul? No, you can’t actually see it (well, maybe some people can) but we can all ‘feel’ it.

It’s the light that comes from a happy heart. The happier you are, especially with yourself, the brighter you will glow. And the brighter you glow, the more attractive you are, to everyone with whom you interact, especially that special man.

In contrast, there are things that cause your light to be dimmed, just like a dimmer switch in your house. One of the easiest ways to turn your light down is to complain.

The reason I decided to write about this is this quote, “I used to complain that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.”

There is always something to complain about, because nothing is always perfect. But the point I want to drive home is, your attitude, and thus, your ‘glow’ is directly related to your perspective.

There is dog poo on the sidewalk. You can complain about some inconsiderate dufus who didn’t pick up after her dog. Or, you could complain about the traffic on the road next to the sidewalk.

OR…you could focus on the flowers growing next to the sidewalk.

Any kind of complaining is counter to you making space for happiness. You are in charge of your own happiness, and what you focus on has a lot to do with how happy you are, how much you enjoy life, and how much love you will experience.

Poop or flowers? Hmmm…

Prepare your heart for Real Love…the only love that lasts,


Why Arguments Start

BROBL2If you think back to any argument you ever had, the reason it got started and kept going was one, or both of you, needed to be right, and in so doing, you forgot the love that brought you together.

When emotions get out of control, the rational mind goes into ‘lizard mode’ and will do anything to protect itself, even from an imaginary threat.

Don’t let the need to be right cause you to say things that will eventually erode what love you had, until eventually, there is nothing left.

Use the acronym, B.R.O.B.L. to remind yourself that the goal is to not only stay in love, but build love with each passing day.

Let this Valentine’s Day be the beginning of a new perspective on your relationship, to keep every conversation ‘Heart Based.’ As you’ll learn when I launch Candy-Coated Communication, there is a Candy-Coated way to handle even the toughest topics.

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


Annual Valentine Day Rant

ManHoldingHeartValentine’s Day is not a holiday for lovers.

For women, it’s an expectation day for women who have a boyfriend or husband, and a exclusionary day for women who are single and unattached.

For men who have a girlfriend or wife, it’s not a holiday, it’s a ‘horrid-day,’ except for the miniscule few who are into making a big deal of it. For men who are single, it’s a day of ‘Yahoo, I don’t have to deal with it!’

Of course, if the guy is wanting sex, his mind isn’t so much on celebrating love as it is on getting some nookie.

Where did all the expectations about Valentine’s Day come from? If you could watch commercial from the 60′s to now, you’d see the marketing trend that has caused men to shudder at the thought of this particularly dreadful holiday.

The first thing I want to ask is, “Do you celebrate your love ever day, like couples in a happy, healthy relationship do?” If not, why not?

The second thing I want to ask is, “Is the rest of the year a struggle, with resentment, disappointment, arguments, and punishment with silence?” If so, a Velentine’s Day gift is not going to fix it.

The third thing is, “What are you doing for him? If you expect him to do something for you, then it should be reciprocal. Here’s an idea for What He’d REALLY Like For Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, not gifts, shoulds, and ought-tos. The media circus that puts the emphasis on the outer show of love has caused couples, women in particular, to forget what it’s really supposed to be about.

But…if you do have a need for him to ‘prove his love’ with gifts and big plans, then don’t put him through the fear he’s going through right now. If you want something in particular, spell it out for him.

Men do not notice your subtle hints. And the sure as hell can’t read your mind. You would not believe how many disappointed women have told me, “He should have known.” Sorry, he shouldn’t. You should have told him…whatever it is you wanted him to know.

“But I want to be surprised,” you might say. Okay, then give him a list of things you’d like, where to get them and how much they will cost, having searched the best price. Then tell him, “I know this isn’t an important holiday for you, but for some reason, it is for me. So here’s a list of things I’d like. You can pick one and then I’ll be surprised.”

Not romantic? You’re right, it isn’t. But at least he’ll be off the hook of fearing he’s going to mess up, and you’ll get something you want. The surprise will be which item he’ll select. But if one is an engagement ring and another is a box of candy, don’t be disappointed that he got the candy. Make each item on the list something that would make you happy, no matter which he picks.

Or, why not let him do whatever he wants, and as long as it’s a show of love, even if it’s a note on the kitchen counter, be happy that he wanted you to know he cares.

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


Let Your Toes Talk

YoungWomanDancingWithHeadphonesThere’s an old Indian proverb that says, “To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.”

What does that mean to you? I invite you to ponder that for a moment before reading any further.

To me, when you dance, you are using your body to express what’s in your heart. If you are dancing with someone you love, everyone will see the love you share in how you move together.

But what if you don’t have a partner? That’s no different because when you’re alone, and you want to dance, it’s an expression of your love for yourself, and for the life you get to live.

When was the last time you danced? Maybe you go to clubs and dance all the time. Good for you. But for a lot of people, dancing is something you do every few years when you go to a wedding.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about Panty Dancing, and Sock Dancing. And of course, there’s the Snoopy Dance. That’s where, in the old Peanuts comics, when Snoopy was really happy (usually because a cookie was soon to be had), he would lift his nose in the air and his feet would twirl. That’s sheer joy. My little dog used to jump in circles when she was happy. Loved that little dog.

It’s Friday, so how about dancing to celebrate a week filled with happy, magical moments. Or you can dance to celebrate who you are. You can dance to express your love for life, for yourself, for anyone and everyone you love… So go dance in whatever way your toes wish to express your love…

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,