A Pity Party Has a Purpose

Sad_Woman1Your heart feels like it’s broken, like you’ll never be able to love again. It’s okay to throw yourself a Pity Party. Yes, go ahead and feel those feelings…ALL of them. Cry, wail, pound pillows… Get it all out.

But what are you supposed to do next?

Some say, “Get over it.” And that’s the way most people deal with heartache. Get over it and get on with life. But that’s not what you should do. Nope! Here’s what I advise:

  1. Be grateful you can feel deeply. If you think about it, it feels good to cry that hard, to really let loose. So much of our lives we’re expect to ‘hold it together.’ I say feel it all.
  2. Look at what happened (no matter what it was) and acknowledge it as a teacher. Every heartache has within it a message that will help you be happier, stronger, smarter in the future.
  3. Sit quietly and ask your Inner Wise Woman what you are supposed to learn from this experience. What a waste to go through something like that and NOT learn anything from it. So give it as much time as you need for the answer(s) to emerge. It might even takes days or weeks. Once you ask that question, your psyche will start working on giving you an answer.
  4. Once you come up with your lesson, ask yourself how you can use it to make better decisions and choices in the future. How can it help you be the person you want to be, and have what you want in life.

There is room for feeling all your emotions. But if you don’t find the value in having gone through the experience, you will continue to create the same kind of experiences…until you learn the lesson your ‘future best self’ is needing you to learn. That ‘future best self’ can only emerge as you develop the wisdom, skills, and insights that are required.

The better you become at finding the answers within each experience, the more rapidly you will have the life you know is possible. It’s a choice to learn and grow…or not.


Inspiring you to do ‘whatever it takes’ to be happy,


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