Nice to have you back. This is Part 2 of a 3 Part series. If you haven’t done so, go to Part 1 first, then come back here.
So, assuming you joined me for Part 1, I hope you made your list of what he does that upsets you, and rated each item. Was it enlightening? Depressing? Inspiring?
Well, first, let’s talk about getting upset. There are a few reasons women get upset with their husband or boyfriend. Let me share the primary ones with you.
One of the biggest reasons a man upsets a woman is because she isn’t able to control him, to get him to behave. No, don’t stop reading…stay with me.
We women tend to want things a certain way, and we tend to think we know what’s best. So when he doesn’t do what we want or expect, if he does something ‘wrong’ (meaning not the way you want it done, or how you would do it), or if he does things differently than you, or doesn’t care about the things you care about (like putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher, or picking up his dirty clothes), then again, he’s not ‘behaving’ properly.
I like to eat my dinner hot. Stephen doesn’t care that much. So before we sit down to eat, he checks his iPhone to be sure no client has texted him. Then he can eat without wondering.
I know I’m the one who wants my hot food hot, so I’ve learned to let go of caring about HIS food being hot, and start eating before he sits down. I’ve learned that it’s my problem, not his, that he doesn’t do it ‘my way.’
Another reason he upsets you is you haven’t been able to change him. WAY TOO OFTEN, women pick a man who is ‘almost’ perfect, assuming he can be ‘fixed’ later.
Yikes! How would that feel if you were the one he was planning on fixing?
Because men don’t change that much, especially if you blatantly try to change him, you will always be a bit miffed at him.
A third reason you get upset is because he’s mean, rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful, or any of the other things that make him simply not a very good man to be with.
Now take your list. Look at each of those things that upset you, and put them into one of the 3 categories above.
- You can’t get him to behave;
- You haven’t been able to ‘fix’ him;
- He’s just not a very nice man.
This will take some real honesty here. But once you sort your list in this way, you’ll have a clearer picture of what you need to do.
In Part 3, I’ll explain how to deal with each of the 3 categories, and how you can get him to behave, or fix him. I’ll also give you some advice when he’s not a very nice man.
Our time is up and you have some homework to do.
See you at our next ‘session.’
In every way I can, helping you make magic, everywhere you go,