But little do you realize that often, the most innocent comment can send him running for the hills.
I big reason for relationship not going along smoothly is because most of what you do and say is unconscious, without forethought.
When you just take a moment to catch yourself, think about what you want to say, and either decide if it’s what you really want him to hear, or if it is, how you can say it so he receives the message you intended.
But, no matter how badly you want to tell him, here are 5 things you should never say to him:
#1 - “Gawd, I’m feeling really bloated,” (or anything that has to do with your period). Unless he likes having sex with you at that time of the month, most men would prefer to know nothing about your menstrual cycle, even that it exists. And don’t leave your menstrual accoutrement around for the same reason.
#2 - “I don’t like it when you look at other women.” Trust me, whether you see him doing it or not, he’s going to look at other woman. If you say this to him, he’ll think you’re too insecure (a real turn-off) and just look surreptitiously.
A better way is to have fun with it, like I do. Point those gorgeous women out to him. They’re there anyway, so why not bring it out into the open. After all, everyone, including you, appreciates beauty. Or I hope you do.
#3 - “You can’t ____________ (fill in the blank).” No one should tell someone what they can and cannot do except a parent to a child. He is not your child so never treat him like one. And any time you treat him like one, he’ll pull away just a little bit more. Eventually, he’ll be gone.
If you have a problem with something he’s doing, you need to have an adult-to-adult conversation about why it bothers you. If it’s a legitimate concern, then you two figure out how to deal with it as a team. My upcoming Candy-Coated Communication video series will teach you how to have these kind of conversations so he wants to please you.
#4 - “I faked it,” (or anything that disparages his love-making skills). That doesn’t mean he’s not a lousy lover, or that you should settle for being unsatisfied. But darlin, there are so many other ways to let him know what you want. (If you want, you can download my free ebook filled with sex advice.)
If he doesn’t respond to your gentle requests to, “Can you try doing it this way,” or “I loved it when you did that thing to me, can you do it next time too,” or your wiggles and moans, then he just might be too inept, selfish or unaware. In which case, you have a decision to make. Be okay with his lack of skills, concern, or awareness, or leave him.
#5 - “You always…” or “You never…” Rarely is this the truth, so whenever you toss either of those out there, the person, no matter who it is, will get defensive. And just so you know, when a man is in defensive mode, he’s unable to feel any kind of love or affection for you. There are much better tactics for getting what you want from him.
NOTE: And other than #1 above, he shouldn’t be saying those things to you either.
That’s enough for you to absorb for today. If you want more about how to understand the minds of men, download any one of my free ebooks and read Men Made Easy (which is included with every ebook because it’s too important to miss.)
And just so you know, I’m going to be offering a new free video series called, Candy-Coated Communication, where I will teach you how to say what you need to say in order to get your needs met, but in a way that he listens and even wants to do what you request…even when the topic is tough.
Register for The Real Truth About Love over there to the right, and you’ll be notified when the videos are available.
As always, helping you make magic, everywhere you go,