This is a GREAT Idea

9GAG.comI just saw this on facebook and had to share.

It came from 9GAG.com, which isn’t a relationship site, but a site with all sorts of images and videos that are offered for your entertainment.

At the very least, maybe this idea will inspire you to focus on why you fell in love, rather than those little irritations that eventually destroy a relationship.

It’s very easy to focus on what’s wrong. For some reason, it seems to take effort to remember the things that brought you together.

Here’s a Fun Idea

Maybe you could put up a great big bulletin board and keep adding things that you love and appreciate about each other. Like an evolving vision board.

What are some other ways this idea can be used throughout your relationship. Maybe keep it right in front of the TV. And how can it inspire new ideas.

Bottom line, staying in love does take work. But the work part is keeping it in the forefront, rather than the last item on your list of what’s important.

Wishing you mountains of love and happiness,

Kara Oh, Author

 

This is Always a Huge Mistake

15658051_blogYou’ve probably already heard this before: Never say, “We need to talk.”

Why?

Because if you need to talk, you want to be heard, right? If not, then just say, “I need to rant.” Then they will know what to expect.

The foundation of a good relationship must be good communication. That means you talk about what’s going on, what plans need to be made, what needs to be fixed, etc., in such a way that it is a constructive conversation that is filled with love, respect, and appreciation.

Saying “We need to talk” shuts the other person down because a good part of the time, that means, “I’m upset about something, and you’re the reason why.”

So what’s an alternate way to approach someone so they will be interested in what you have to say?

After I tell you what to say, I’ll explain why it works.

Here’s the phrase to use: “Can I run something by you?”

Pretty simple.

The reason it works is because it keeps their desire to listen open. This is a common phrase used in business, and is generally considered a request for help, or for their opinion. consequently, it also strokes their ego.

One caveat, if you only say it when the person is in trouble, it will stop working. Use it sparingly, but use it for those times when you really do want some help and/or their opinion on something, along with those times you have to have a more difficult conversation.

And by the way, you are not their mother. Whether it’s your husband or boyfriend, a girlfriend, or someone at work, you should never make them feel they are ‘in trouble.’ That’s demeaning and they will not listen, and worse, they will go into defensive mode. When that happens, you’ve lost any ability to have an adult conversation that resolves the issue at hand.

If you want to improve your skills at communicating, especially with your romantic partner, you absolutely need to order The Secret Language Of Long Term Lovers.

Wishing you only loving and respectful conversations,

Kara Oh, Author

How Are Love and Hate the Same?

emotionsNight before last I had a dream. In it, there was a friend I haven’t seen or thought about for many years. She was glowing with a light that seemed to emanate from her heart.

She said she needed me to show how love and hate are alike.

Huh? I had no idea what she meant.

I woke up and didn’t think much about it. But then a thought came to me, which is what I wrote on this image.

Both love and hate take work to keep them going. But there isn’t room for them to be in your heart at the same time.

Love pushes hate away.

Hate pushes love away.

This idea fits on a small scale, with an individual, or on a global scale, with entire societies.

So because each has to be chosen, fostered, and fed, it’s a matter of what you want for yourself. For someone who is filled with hate, and that hate guides their thinking and actions, they cannot be happy. Happiness is a part of what makes love.

The bottom line is that it’s a choice.

And if you have children, you will teach them what is in your heart. Look around the world, and you can see it is true.

Please choose love,

Kara Oh, Author

You Should Always Choose the Best You

Young couple having fun in the kitchenI love to read. Actually, so much so, that I’ve wished there were two of me. One who read twenty-four hours a day, who would send the info over to the other me, that was out there doing life.

But alas, there’s only me. One way I get my reading in is to always have an audio book in my car. Today, I was listening to a very fun read, London Is the Best City In America, by Laura Dave. The protagonist, Emmie, said something really profound and I wanted to share it with you here.

She said (not an exact quote), “When choosing between two people, it’s not the people you need to choose between, it’s choosing which version of you you want to be.”

That makes total sense because each person we have a relationship with, whether it’s a romantic relationship, or a girlfriend, or anyone else, we show up a little bit different with each.

So choose who you most like and enjoy being, and you’ll be happy.

Every good novel offers lessons about life that can be taken into our hearts so we can become better people.

To great reading,

LusciousSig

Why Men Love Dirty Talk

kiss-2I got so many great emails about Felicity’s last guest blog post, 3 Naughty Phrases That Drive Men Wild, I asked her for another. Enjoy…

Guest article by Felicity Keith

It should come as no surprise that guys dig dirty talk. But have you ever considered the reasons why this form of sexual play is just so dang arousing to him? Let’s take a dive into why dirty talk drives him wild.

1. It’s an arousing surprise

If you have a ladylike public persona but behind closed doors you let explicit phrases tumble from your mouth, the contradiction gives him a sexy charge of excitement. And even if you aren’t the pinnacle of propriety, seeing you transform into a naughty vixen gives him a titillating thrill. This heightens his senses and makes everything that much more arousing for him.

2. He feels like a sex-god

When you let loose with a string of moans and screams mixed with a variety of sexy play-by-plays and dirty directives, you show him just how much you F#$*king love what he’s doing to you. Your unbridled enthusiasm tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s rocking your socks.

3. Your confidence attracts him

A woman who has the self-confidence to use dirty phrases to get what she wants in bed is downright seductive. Men are drawn to women who aren’t afraid to express themselves sexually. And generally, your use of dirty talk clues him in that you are far from uptight or inhibited. A good time is in store for you both!

4. It shows you are totally in the moment

Enthusiasm is such a huge turn-on for men. A quiet partner can be misunderstood as a bored or distracted partner, and that can put a big damper on the sexy mood. When you talk dirty, not only are YOU 100% present and in the moment, it shows him that you are. That level of engagement with what’s happening between you serves to validate that he’s pleasing you.

All of the reasons above activate different chemicals in his brain and are hitting some of the big triggers for his sex drive. Who knew that there was some science behind talking dirty? Of course, not every woman feels comfortable launching into dirty talk, and if that sounds like you, you are not alone. But don’t let your fears stop you from incorporating this fun technique into your sex life. In the program Language of Desire I teach you ways to get over any shyness you may feel and give you over 200 dirty phrases that you can fine-tune to suit your taste level.

Have fun,

LusciousSig

 

 

 

P.S. Finally, someone has come up with a program that teaches ‘nice’ women like us how to talk naughty. You know you’ve wanted to, and now you can. Watch the video here, or if you prefer to read about it, you can go here.