Hey, Lady! Whatchu Lookin At?

FilteredCat2Your outlook on life (meaning your perspective, what you focus on, what you believe about why things happen, your willingness to take responsibility for what goes on in your life) colors everything, as a filter on a camera colors an image.

Now, this is really BIG: You choose the filters through which you see (and live) your life.

Yes, no matter where you look, you can find garbage. Garbage along the highway, garbage in your yard, garbage in situations, and even garbage about how you perceive people.

The problem with focusing the garbage is you miss seeing the beauty.

Beauty is always there, right next to the garbage, if you CHOOSE to look for it.

See that flower growing in a crack in the pavement, next to that pile of  garbage along the highway?

You’re sick in bed, but listen, there’s a bird singing somewhere outside.

Your dog died yesterday, but stop, close your eyes and feel the sunshine on your shoulders.

Inspire a returned smile.

Notice a hand that needs to be held.

We find what we’re looking for. Why not look for joy? No matter our circumstances, joy is still an option. And what’s crazy is it even impacts our chemistry. So in a way, we get to choose our chemistry, which impacts our outlook. Look Mom, it’s a circle. Cool, huh?

Helping you discover the magic of Real Love,


Dance Like EVERYONE Is Watching!!!

You are a woman, therefore, you have a responsibility to be a true maker of magic. Your woman’s heart, filled with such capacity to love, is a much-needed guiding light…showing the way for each and every person you meet, to rise up and become their very best.

So rather than the oft-quoted phrase, “Dance like no one is watching,” I say, “Dance like EVERYONE is watching” and you will create an infectious response in everyone who sees you because they will be inspired to dance with you.

Watch these two videos to see what I mean…and I DARE you to sit still.

Be a maker of magic, there is no more noble quest,


This Will Turn Your Light Down

DogPooOnSidewalk1Did you know you have light that emanates from your spirit and soul? No, you can’t actually see it (well, maybe some people can) but we can all ‘feel’ it.

It’s the light that comes from a happy heart. The happier you are, especially with yourself, the brighter you will glow. And the brighter you glow, the more attractive you are, to everyone with whom you interact, especially that special man.

In contrast, there are things that cause your light to be dimmed, just like a dimmer switch in your house. One of the easiest ways to turn your light down is to complain.

The reason I decided to write about this is this quote, “I used to complain that I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.”

There is always something to complain about, because nothing is always perfect. But the point I want to drive home is, your attitude, and thus, your ‘glow’ is directly related to your perspective.

There is dog poo on the sidewalk. You can complain about some inconsiderate dufus who didn’t pick up after her dog. Or, you could complain about the traffic on the road next to the sidewalk.

OR…you could focus on the flowers growing next to the sidewalk.

Any kind of complaining is counter to you making space for happiness. You are in charge of your own happiness, and what you focus on has a lot to do with how happy you are, how much you enjoy life, and how much love you will experience.

Poop or flowers? Hmmm…

Prepare your heart for Real Love…the only love that lasts,


Why Arguments Start

BROBL2If you think back to any argument you ever had, the reason it got started and kept going was one, or both of you, needed to be right, and in so doing, you forgot the love that brought you together.

When emotions get out of control, the rational mind goes into ‘lizard mode’ and will do anything to protect itself, even from an imaginary threat.

Don’t let the need to be right cause you to say things that will eventually erode what love you had, until eventually, there is nothing left.

Use the acronym, B.R.O.B.L. to remind yourself that the goal is to not only stay in love, but build love with each passing day.

Let this Valentine’s Day be the beginning of a new perspective on your relationship, to keep every conversation ‘Heart Based.’ As you’ll learn when I launch Candy-Coated Communication, there is a Candy-Coated way to handle even the toughest topics.

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


Annual Valentine Day Rant

ManHoldingHeartValentine’s Day is not a holiday for lovers.

For women, it’s an expectation day for women who have a boyfriend or husband, and a exclusionary day for women who are single and unattached.

For men who have a girlfriend or wife, it’s not a holiday, it’s a ‘horrid-day,’ except for the miniscule few who are into making a big deal of it. For men who are single, it’s a day of ‘Yahoo, I don’t have to deal with it!’

Of course, if the guy is wanting sex, his mind isn’t so much on celebrating love as it is on getting some nookie.

Where did all the expectations about Valentine’s Day come from? If you could watch commercial from the 60′s to now, you’d see the marketing trend that has caused men to shudder at the thought of this particularly dreadful holiday.

The first thing I want to ask is, “Do you celebrate your love ever day, like couples in a happy, healthy relationship do?” If not, why not?

The second thing I want to ask is, “Is the rest of the year a struggle, with resentment, disappointment, arguments, and punishment with silence?” If so, a Velentine’s Day gift is not going to fix it.

The third thing is, “What are you doing for him? If you expect him to do something for you, then it should be reciprocal. Here’s an idea for What He’d REALLY Like For Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, not gifts, shoulds, and ought-tos. The media circus that puts the emphasis on the outer show of love has caused couples, women in particular, to forget what it’s really supposed to be about.

But…if you do have a need for him to ‘prove his love’ with gifts and big plans, then don’t put him through the fear he’s going through right now. If you want something in particular, spell it out for him.

Men do not notice your subtle hints. And the sure as hell can’t read your mind. You would not believe how many disappointed women have told me, “He should have known.” Sorry, he shouldn’t. You should have told him…whatever it is you wanted him to know.

“But I want to be surprised,” you might say. Okay, then give him a list of things you’d like, where to get them and how much they will cost, having searched the best price. Then tell him, “I know this isn’t an important holiday for you, but for some reason, it is for me. So here’s a list of things I’d like. You can pick one and then I’ll be surprised.”

Not romantic? You’re right, it isn’t. But at least he’ll be off the hook of fearing he’s going to mess up, and you’ll get something you want. The surprise will be which item he’ll select. But if one is an engagement ring and another is a box of candy, don’t be disappointed that he got the candy. Make each item on the list something that would make you happy, no matter which he picks.

Or, why not let him do whatever he wants, and as long as it’s a show of love, even if it’s a note on the kitchen counter, be happy that he wanted you to know he cares.

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


Let Your Toes Talk

YoungWomanDancingWithHeadphonesThere’s an old Indian proverb that says, “To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.”

What does that mean to you? I invite you to ponder that for a moment before reading any further.

To me, when you dance, you are using your body to express what’s in your heart. If you are dancing with someone you love, everyone will see the love you share in how you move together.

But what if you don’t have a partner? That’s no different because when you’re alone, and you want to dance, it’s an expression of your love for yourself, and for the life you get to live.

When was the last time you danced? Maybe you go to clubs and dance all the time. Good for you. But for a lot of people, dancing is something you do every few years when you go to a wedding.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve probably heard me talk about Panty Dancing, and Sock Dancing. And of course, there’s the Snoopy Dance. That’s where, in the old Peanuts comics, when Snoopy was really happy (usually because a cookie was soon to be had), he would lift his nose in the air and his feet would twirl. That’s sheer joy. My little dog used to jump in circles when she was happy. Loved that little dog.

It’s Friday, so how about dancing to celebrate a week filled with happy, magical moments. Or you can dance to celebrate who you are. You can dance to express your love for life, for yourself, for anyone and everyone you love… So go dance in whatever way your toes wish to express your love…

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


Wake With Childlike Curiosity

WomanWakingWhen you wake tomorrow morning, I invite you to do so with childlike curiosity for what the day will bring.

Be open to serendipity…

Be open to magic…

Be open to possibilities…

As you’ve heard many times before, you are what you think about, all day long.

So why think about what’s ‘not right’ with the world when you can focus on what ‘IS right’ with it. You do have a choice…

I guarantee, if you look for what’s good, you’ll find it. A two-year old is not looking for things to complain about. No, that two year-old is bright-eyed, excited about even the littlest things.

Noticing the new, bright, shiny, magical…

That child is looking to be fascinated…

That can be you…if you simply allow yourself to be so…

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,


What’s the Right Answer?

http://www.dreamstime.com/-image23852206You might be asking, what’s the question? You have to have the question before you can come up with an answer. Right?

What I’m going to talk about is human interaction, not how fast does light travel. Whenever there’s a problem between two or more people, the way to solve that problem will always be love.



I believe every problem you have with someone, including yourself, is simply a lack of love.

Too often, what’s really going on, is a need to be right. It happens between parents and children, between lovers, between political parties, between religions factions, and even between countries.

It might sound simplistic, but if the goal is to resolve a problem, love will get you there. Needing to be right will either keep you struggling with the problem, or cause it to escalate.

The reason someone might say this is a simplistic idea is because I’m not seeing the bigger picture. But give me a problem that would stay a problem if you shifted from needing to be right (the opposite of that is, “You’re wrong!”), to “Let’s find a loving solution to this, so we both feel like winners.”

Another reason someone might say this is simplistic is because there’s little empirical evidence that this is possible. But that’s because all problems between people is one or both sides insisting they’re right. And the ego being the spoiled child that it is, they NEED to be right.


Because, heaven forbid, if they’re not right, OMG!!!, that would mean they’re wrong. People don’t like to be wrong.

Every time you find yourself upset with something someone has done or said this week, I challenge you to look inside yourself and check to see if you’re feeling you’re right, and they’re wrong. This will take some serious honesty because remember, most people don’t like to be wrong.

Some things aren’t negotiable, like the guy who cuts you off on the highway. But even then, there’s a possibility he didn’t see you. If you give him the benefit of the doubt, then you won’t get upset, because that’s a form of love.

If you tap your horn to avoid a collision–assuming with love that he didn’t see you–and he flips you off, then you can assume he’s a miserable, cranky, unhappy son-of-a-bitch who’s hemorrhoids have flared up, and how sad for him. That’s another form of love, albeit with an edge that feels pretty damn good.

But if you reacted that way, you would not be upset, you’d probably be laughing. Doing things to keep yourself from getting upset, so you stay your usual bright, sparkly, joyful self, is a form of loving yourself.

See, what did I tell you? All problems, even those you have with yourself, can be resolved with love.

Helping you make magic, everywhere you go,