Bliss Is Beautiful

BlissKimberlyBliss makes you beautiful. A bold statement, maybe.

But you might be asking one of a couple of questions.

Maybe, “What the heck is bliss?”

Or, “I’ve heard of it, but how can I get there?”

People who meditate talk about getting to a state of bliss. I meditate and I can tell you I’ve never gotten there on purpose. It’s only happened a few times when I was out in nature.

I know enough about bliss to know what has to happen, and that even if you’re only moving toward it, you will be more beautiful.

Here’s why:

As this image points out, bliss is achieved when fear and judgement are gone.

Fear is not attractive. You can only be your most beautiful when you’re happy.

You can’t be happy if you’re in a state of fear.

And when you’re being judgmental of someone, you’re being ugly. No clarification necessary there.

But do you need to achieve the state of bliss to be your most beautiful?

No, of course not. But you do need to be happy.

The good news is that happy is much easier to achieve than bliss. And in my opinion, a more worthy goal. Or at least a better use of your time and energy since it’s more likely that you’ll achieve your goal.

If you feel like fear is keeping you from enjoying happiness, you can become a member of my Inner Circle, which I also call the Happy School, and begin to go through the online workshops designed to help you clear away whatever is in the way of you being as happy as you want.

Let your beautiful light shine,

Kara Oh, Author

Romance Redefined

CoupleTalkingOnGrassRomance is one of those words that gets tossed about a lot, but what does it mean, really? I suspect the each person has their own definition, experience, and expectations about romance.

The other thing to look at is how romance has changed over the years. At one time, romance was laying a jacket over mud so a lady could walk across without getting dirty. That’s probably not going to happen to too many women today.

The expectations thing really messes with people’s minds. If you have expectations about how another person is supposed to behave, and they don’t live up to those expectations, what’s going to happen? A great big pile of disappointment. Not a great way to build love and strengthen your bond.

How about you let go of your definitions and expectations. Here’s what I propose.

Take every little kindness, ever bit of thoughtfulness, and every show of affection as romance.

If he sends you a text out of the blue, just to connect…see that as romance.

If he’s giving you his full attention…see that as romance.

If he rests his hand on your leg, or holds your hand, or leans against you while you’re watching TV…see that as romance.

If he brings home any gift, large or small…see it as romance.

If he washes your car while he’s out…see that as romance.

People are busy, they’re tires, often burned-out, don’t get enough sleep, don’t eat healthy, are distracted.

The GRAND GESTURES are probably not going to show up.

So let go of them. They’re only setting you up for disappointment. And who feels great when someone is disappointed with them. No one. And you know what, when they don’t feel good about what’s going on between you, they’ll pull away.

Then you wonder what happened.

So I invite you to watch for those little gestures, and when they show up, letĀ  your guy know that he made you feel good, that you appreciate that he’s a romantic guy, and guess what? He’s very likely to add more romance because in all probability, he’s forgotten that you need it.

Be happy…it’s a choice,

Kara Oh, Author

 

This is a GREAT Idea

9GAG.comI just saw this on facebook and had to share.

It came from 9GAG.com, which isn’t a relationship site, but a site with all sorts of images and videos that are offered for your entertainment.

At the very least, maybe this idea will inspire you to focus on why you fell in love, rather than those little irritations that eventually destroy a relationship.

It’s very easy to focus on what’s wrong. For some reason, it seems to take effort to remember the things that brought you together.

Here’s a Fun Idea

Maybe you could put up a great big bulletin board and keep adding things that you love and appreciate about each other. Like an evolving vision board.

What are some other ways this idea can be used throughout your relationship. Maybe keep it right in front of the TV. And how can it inspire new ideas.

Bottom line, staying in love does take work. But the work part is keeping it in the forefront, rather than the last item on your list of what’s important.

Wishing you mountains of love and happiness,

Kara Oh, Author

 

This is Always a Huge Mistake

15658051_blogYou’ve probably already heard this before: Never say, “We need to talk.”

Why?

Because if you need to talk, you want to be heard, right? If not, then just say, “I need to rant.” Then they will know what to expect.

The foundation of a good relationship must be good communication. That means you talk about what’s going on, what plans need to be made, what needs to be fixed, etc., in such a way that it is a constructive conversation that is filled with love, respect, and appreciation.

Saying “We need to talk” shuts the other person down because a good part of the time, that means, “I’m upset about something, and you’re the reason why.”

So what’s an alternate way to approach someone so they will be interested in what you have to say?

After I tell you what to say, I’ll explain why it works.

Here’s the phrase to use: “Can I run something by you?”

Pretty simple.

The reason it works is because it keeps their desire to listen open. This is a common phrase used in business, and is generally considered a request for help, or for their opinion. consequently, it also strokes their ego.

One caveat, if you only say it when the person is in trouble, it will stop working. Use it sparingly, but use it for those times when you really do want some help and/or their opinion on something, along with those times you have to have a more difficult conversation.

And by the way, you are not their mother. Whether it’s your husband or boyfriend, a girlfriend, or someone at work, you should never make them feel they are ‘in trouble.’ That’s demeaning and they will not listen, and worse, they will go into defensive mode. When that happens, you’ve lost any ability to have an adult conversation that resolves the issue at hand.

If you want to improve your skills at communicating, especially with your romantic partner, you absolutely need to orderĀ The Secret Language Of Long Term Lovers.

Wishing you only loving and respectful conversations,

Kara Oh, Author

How Are Love and Hate the Same?

emotionsNight before last I had a dream. In it, there was a friend I haven’t seen or thought about for many years. She was glowing with a light that seemed to emanate from her heart.

She said she needed me to show how love and hate are alike.

Huh? I had no idea what she meant.

I woke up and didn’t think much about it. But then a thought came to me, which is what I wrote on this image.

Both love and hate take work to keep them going. But there isn’t room for them to be in your heart at the same time.

Love pushes hate away.

Hate pushes love away.

This idea fits on a small scale, with an individual, or on a global scale, with entire societies.

So because each has to be chosen, fostered, and fed, it’s a matter of what you want for yourself. For someone who is filled with hate, and that hate guides their thinking and actions, they cannot be happy. Happiness is a part of what makes love.

The bottom line is that it’s a choice.

And if you have children, you will teach them what is in your heart. Look around the world, and you can see it is true.

Please choose love,

Kara Oh, Author