You Choose How Happy You Are

It probably sounds ridiculous to say you can choose how happy you are, but it’s true.

Every moment of every day you are choosing how you feel. Sure, it’s often unconscious, but when you allow you to pay attention to how you’re feeling, if it’s less than you’d like, you can choose to make an alteration.

Here’s a video you might find useful:

If you’d like to improve your ability to choose happiness more and more of the time, why don’t you become a free member of and take advantage of the free workshops I offer?

Hey, that’s another choice you get to make…

If you want the happiest relationship possible, get a copy of Men Made Easy and start reading tonight.

Quick Picker-Upper

YoungWomanDancingAre there things you do to cause an immediate change your mood? There are several that you might want to put into your Happy Helper Toolbox.

One is dance. And dance usually needs some music. So what kind of music do you choose?

Well, that depends on what kind of mood you prefer to be in.

It’s funny, but it seems a lot of the time we pick music that fits our current mood.

If you’re sad over a heartache, you will probably pick moody music. That will not only keep you in a sad mood, it is likely to make you feel even more sad.

Why not use music to change your mood to the one you’d prefer. Tired of being sad, then pick something joyful.

Tired of being angry, pick something uplifting.

Tired of being cranky, pick something silly.

You have a lot of control over how you are living your life, and music is one of the simplest ways to take charge.

What kind of music does your soul need right now?

Happiness is a choice.

Big hugs,

Kara Oh, Author


What’s Wrong With Rose Colored Glasses?

Depositphotos_12173900_xsHave you ever had someone complain that you see the world through rose colored glasses, or that you’re a Pollyanna, or maybe that you’ve got your head in the sand?

Well, so what. Right. Of course you’re aware that there are a lot of things in the world that are horrible and not at all okay.

But if you focus on all that stuff, in no time, you’re not going to feel very good.

I’m aware of today’s issues and the problems going on in the world.

I sign petitions to add my voice to help fix the environment, to save endangered species, to fix our insane food supply. I donate to the causes that I believe will help our world become a better place. It makes me feel good to help.

But doesn’t it feel better to go about your day focusing on the positive that is all around you?

Look for special moments, the beauty of nature, the bird singing in the tree, the smile you can elicit with your own smile.

Trust me, if you want to develop the Habit of Being Happy, it’s not that difficult.

Focus on the good and do what you can to change the bad.

That’s where it begins.

For the best marriage resources I know of, visit Marriage Sherpa.

Wishing you blessings on your journey through this magical thing called life,

Kara Oh, Author

Do You Feel Like a Detective? you sometimes have the urge to look at his texts, or worse, actually do it?

Do you ever drive by a place you suspect he might be, but shouldn’t?

Do you have an urge to check up on him, ever?

Then you’re with the wrong guy.

If you have to play detective, then that means you don’t trust him. In my book, you can’t love someone you don’t trust. Trust and respect are essential for love to blossom. If you don’t trust him, then no way do you respect him.

Prior to my divorce, I was sure my husband was having an affair. Partly because he’d been asking for me to agree to an open marriage. After 29 years, I just couldn’t accept that. What was hardest was how stressful it was to always be wondering where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing.

So at the very least, the stress isn’t worth it. And if he’s causing you that kind of stress, he’s not worth it either.

On the other hand…

If he’s done nothing to cause you to mistrust him, then the problem lies with you. If you have what some call, ‘trust issues,’ then you should not be in a relationship until you get that resolved.

Bottom line? There can be no detectives in a healthy relationship.

For the best marriage resources I know of, visit Marriage Sherpa.

Wishing you much love and happiness,

Kara Oh, Author

If There’s a Winner, There Has To Be a Loser

UnhappyCouple250In preparation for my son’s wedding in Kauai one month from now, I’ve upped my 30 minute daily walks to an hour. Yes, I’m vain and want to lose some weight. But I think you’ll understand why it’s important when I explain.

My ex-husband and his wife will be there as well. We’re all going to be living in the same house and that means bathing suit time…that is if I want to enjoy the water. We’re all friends, but I want to look as good as I can. Just because…

There’s a point to all this, I promise.

So yesterday, there was a couple walking behind me. They were arguing about her owing him $5 for being wrong on how many blocks to where they had to turn off of State Street. Then she said, in a snippy tone of voice, “Well, you owe me $5 from yesterday.” Then they proceeded to argue. But not a fun, teasing kind of argument. They were getting upset with each other.

I really, really wanted to say, “If one of you is going to win this stupid argument, then that means the other is going to lose. And how is that going to help you be a happy, loving, bonded couple?”

Instead, I kept my mouth shut, like a good little girl.

But think about it, how often have you gotten into an argument over something that is only about needing / wanting to be right? It’s really a dumb thing to do. Unless, of course, that is your ultimate goal. If–and I hope this is true–your goal is to have an amazing relationship that makes your heart sing, then stop with the silly arguments.

Arguing is never going to resolve a situation, whether it’s on a stupid or serious topic. Never.

You should always end a conversation–meaning you actually communicated like two loving adults–if your intention is to continually improve your relationship. (Arguing is not a conversation, and certainly not communicating.)

A good relationship means you both feel like winners.

Got it? Good.

Now go make some love,

Kara Oh, Author